So much better than never have I ever...

[revolvings]

The buzz was settling in smooth along Max's skin, and he was feeling absolutely no pain right now. It was enough that he and Michael were in this texting discussion, but the topic was absolutely insane. Having walked the short distance over to where Michael was staying currently, Max knocked on the door after the last text came back. He felt terrible for giving his brother such a warped view of him. At least he came bearing gifts. A bottle of tequila and a couple of shot glasses, along with a bag of already cut limes. All Michael had to do was supply the salt.

"Wow. I’m flattered. You really know how to make a man feel special.

Who said I wasn’t drinking? I just wasn’t planning on drinking drinking but fuck it. You’re right we’ve been at odds pushing against each other for too long. We’re idiots. I was just so fucked up back then.

You got your dick pierced?! And both your…Ok I take it back. I’m vanilla. You out freak me. I’m scared to find out what else I don’t know.

You go. I’m processing."

Comments

[revolvings]

[Is it a wonder that Max thinks so much the same about Michael? Laying there astride him, watching his face bathed in flickering light, knowing what a brilliant man he is, knowing how much he's done to save the lives of everyone he loves, all the obstacles he's overcome. He's come back from the worst of them-- he's stitched himself back together when he thought no one cared, not knowing that Max was there the whole time, watching, wishing. It was so hard when they stopped talking after the incident.

Kissing Michael fills him with warmth and every sense of home he thought he knew, but is finding out he had no clue about. This is home, this is love. This is everything bound into one single person, the one he will cling to and never let go of. ]

I hope they all see your mark, and know that I belong to you. Screw what people think. I want to shock the hell out of this fucking town. I want them all to know, Michael. I don't think I can hide this.

[Max moves his hips a little, and feels his body stir as he does, he kisses Michael on the neck, a wave of emotion so strong it's like a tsunami, a tidal wave breaking shore as it crashes through him and passes on to Michael. There's so much inside of him, and it's only beginning.] Fuck, I love you so much.

[cosmiccowboy]

[The emotions pour through the handprint, this new tether like a dam breaking open. It steals the breath from his lungs and all he can do is tighten his hold on Max, pressing him impossibly closer as it washes over him. He’s not even sure anymore what’s his and what’s coming from Max or if it even matters. Was it always like this]

I love you too, Max. It may have taken us a long time to see it but we’re here now. [His voice is choked, thick with emotion. He feels unguarded and raw. He never saw this coming. Not for the first time, one night has once again changed the trajectory of his life. Now it was as if the timeline of his life was split into two parts; before tonight and after.

He tries to imagine having to hide this from everyone once the sun comes up and they are forced to leave this bubble. Having to pretend like everything was the way it used to be, like his entire world hasn’t shifted on its axis. Having to be in the same room and not touch. Hell, he’s afraid if he even looks at Max it’ll be written all over his face. The two of them wear their hearts on their sleeves it’s who they are and who they’ve always been. Everyone knew about him and Alex since high school and Michael thought he had been so good at keeping that hidden. He didn’t stand a chance.

He runs his hands absentmindedly down Max’s back, his sides, his hips, enjoying the freedom of being able to touch him like this, to learn his body in a new way.]

Mm…we could always just stay here and never leave.

[revolvings]

[It's true, they've never been good at hiding how they feel, even from one another, no matter how good they shielded shit. Now it's going to be written in their every touch, no matter how casual. Max doesn't want to keep it casual though, he wants to be able to run his hands along Michael, to wrap his arms around the other, to sit at the bar and kiss over a couple beers. Fuck did they screw the pooch, and complicate their lives.

Oh the fuck well.

He will love every axis that has shifted, and take life as it evolves, because loves like this don't just shimmy down any chimney. This wasn't gifted by Santa or any of his visiting elves, angels or gods inbetween. This is the realest shit he's ever felt, and their bond only makes it more alive.

Max laughs softly when Michael catches a ticklish spot on his hip, and one on his spine, there are even a few on his ass if Michael finds those as well. A soft touch on the right spot and his body arches and he laughs, it's amusing to hear Max giggle a lot like a woman. Sensitive to a lot of things, he works with the only recourse he has, and that's the fact that he is still inside of Michael.

He pushes his cock in deeper, and even if it's only half-hard, he moves back and shoves again, and once more. Don't fuck with tickling. Max bites at Michael's neck. ]

We don't have to leave anytime soon, do we? Course we could use a bed .. but that would mean I might have to stop... [and he rocks into Michael again, wondering if it's working with a grin on his face...]

[cosmiccowboy]

Oh, is Max Evans ticklish? [He laughs teasingly. He had no idea Max was so sensitive. He wanted to learn every single spot that made this man giggle like that just so he can hear it again, and every spot and touch that makes his breath hitch, makes him moan.

Michael’s laughter and teasing is cut short when Max rocks his hips, shoving his cock deeper inside. Michael is sensitive and sore from just a little while ago but he still tightens around Max.] Fuck, Max-

[He breathes out in a shaky exhale and bites his lip to keep from whining. Even half-hard, Max feels so fucking good inside of him. Max’s teeth on his neck has his own cock stirring, half-hard between them. The bed sounds really tempting but he’s not sure they can stop touching each other long enough to get there.]

Ooh, you are such an ass. [He groans, grinning as he ghosts his fingers over the same spot on Max’s hip, the one that made him giggle and squirm.]

[revolvings]

[The same spot that made him giggle and squirm a second ago sends out a different sensation now, one that flays his skin in goosebumps and still makes him arch against Michael, but the sound that comes out is more a soft groan than a giggle. He moves slowly inside Michael this time, what had been a pounding of hips last time is laborious and slow this time. Max uses the tip of his tongue to draw a lazy path from neck, to chin and along Michael's lips, flicking against them teasingly.]

I am an ass, and you love it.

[He doesn't stop moving, only takes his time letting Michael get adjusted to him once more as he grows within his lover. It's the most amazing feeling the revolving emotions, sensations between the pair muscled along and amplified a hundred fold by the hand print. Now his hands are back on Michael, caressing gently and lavishing affection over the spots they'd taken so darkly earlier. ] I need you like I need to breathe. I'll never stop needing you...

[cosmiccowboy]

I do love it. I love you…[Feeling Max grow and swell inside of him is overwhelming. His breath hitches as Max moves his hips slowly, sensually. The slow drag of his cock inside of him has Michael arching into him, hips rolling in time to meet him at every languid thrust.

His hands travel from his lover’s hips to his -honestly unfairly perfect- ass. He squeezes and pulls Max even closer.]

You feel so good. You’re so beautiful, baby. I need you so bad it hurts.

[He pushes up to kiss the other alien, sliding his tongue between his lips, desperate to be connected everywhere he can. As their bodies swell and move together, their emotions ebb and flow through the tether, amplifying every touch, every sensation until Michael is panting, open mouthed into the kiss.]

[revolvings]

[It is painful. A love this strong is like a thousand nettle stings all to the heart, or deep within the stomach that's all tied in never-ceasing knots. Max doesn't know if it's supposed to be this way or not, but it's the best pain he's felt in his entire life. Who knew that pain so intense he could hardly breathe could feel like he was walking on water.

It was all paradoxical, being with Michael, being in love like this. It had to have been written in the stars, the ones where they came from long before either he or michael were ever made. Laying like this, loving like this, max too is panting as he brings his mouth to Michael's offering open mouthed kisses, tongues meeting outside, licking and swiping at one another as their bodies rock in smooth motion. It's something that the alien has never, ever done with another person-- he's never made love like this before, never had it feel like this to this extent, not even with liz.

Rolling, he pulls Michael on top of him and lets him control the pace for a little while so he can look up at the gorgeous body he's pumping into. He runs his hands up along michael's stomach and torso, flicking his fingers over and around the other's nipples. Everything is still slow and sensual as he watches the most gorgeous man he's ever laid eyes on fuck him. ] jesus fuck michael You are so gorgeous like this. I've never seen you more undone, and you've never been so ... breathtaking.

[cosmiccowboy]

[Max is right. He’s never felt this undone before, so completely lost in someone else like this. Michael hadn’t made love, not like this before. This was all consuming, like storm clouds rolling across the desert sky. Michael fucked. He had drunken fumbles or hurried sex mostly. It took years before Alex would even stay and not run out the door after. He has been told more than once, he isn’t the kind of guy you took home to meet your mom. No one has ever looked at him the way Max is looking him now, like he is the most important thing in the universe, and he’s never seen anything like him before. Like all that matters is this, the two of them right now and the way their bodies fit so perfectly together.

It’s enough to make his chest tighten with emotion as he watches Max with hooded eyes. Max’s strong hands on his chest, his nipples, sends a shockwave of pleasure rippling through him as he rolls his hips, meeting his every thrust.]

Max [The name is a breathless moan falling from his lips every time Max’s cock hits just right. Michael is too far gone to say much else as he dips his head to lick into Max’s mouth again before traveling to his neck, licking and nipping at the soft flesh.] god, I love you.

[revolvings]

[If Max had a mother, a real fucking mother, the first thing he'd do in the morning would bring Michael home to meet her. As it is, all he knows is that as much as it's gonna hurt and suck doing, they can't keep this from isobel. It's too strong, too perfect and there's way too much love to hide. Why hide when they are meant to be like this. It's not like she won't be able to feel it, she will feel every tiny little thread that ties them together. Hell, she can probably even feel the knots and the ripples of what's going on even now.

They're lucky her emotions are butting into what's going on between them, wondering what the hell. All Max can figure is that this is the pinnacle experience in his life, the one that every other lead up to. Every difficulty, every death, every heartache and fight that he fought was so that they'd find one another like this now.

At any other time in their life, they wouldn't have been ready for this. Neither of them would have been strong enough to handle it, emotionally ready for the way it would rock their world to finally fall apart with the most perfect person, the one that had been beside them the whole time.

Reaching forward, Max begins to stroke at Michael as his hips slowly begin take a slightly quicker pace. No matter how much he'd like to take the entire thing nice and slow there comes a certain point where it's harder to hold back, especially when Michael sits over him like a greek god come to life.

Fingers grip at pointed hips, and Max groans turning his head into the kiss. ] oh my god, Michael. I'm gonna come soon. So soon. You're so tight and good. I love you so much. so fucking... oh god. fuck.

[cosmiccowboy]

[The man underneath him was perfection. He was a savior, the chosen one, a god among men. Michael has always known Max was special, that he was meant for great things, different from the rest of them, but tonight, right now, with Max falling apart so beautifully under him, he didn’t feel worthy. How could he be so lucky to have found this? That someone like Max loves him back? He would spend the rest of his life if he had to becoming worthy of a love like this. In that he was absolutely certain.

Max’s groan is swallowed in the kiss as Michael picks up his pace in time with Max’s hips. He’s so far gone all it takes is a couple strokes and hearing his name fall broken from his lover’s mouth and he’s crying out as his orgasm hits him like a freight train without warning, spilling over Max’s chest and stomach for the second time that evening.]

Fuck-come for me, baby. I need you. I need to feel you. Please. [He leans in, breathless, forehead pressed against Max’s. His body is trembling through aftershocks but he doesn’t slow down, rocking his hips, meeting Max at every thrust, feeling him throb and swell inside of him.]

[revolvings]

[There's no savior here, just a guy from Roswell. He's only ever been just a guy from Roswell, and he knows it. Maybe he did something good for a world that he was born in, but so did Michael, so did everyone else that he was working with. Hell, Liz and Kyle saved his fucking life. If they hadn't done that, then he wouldn't even be here to be a freaking Savior or whatever. Max knew that whatever his life was worth, Michael's was worth every bit as much.

He knew that the hands that moved over his body, and the mouth that covered his were ones that were currently saving him. That Max himself would be nothing in a space of time if they didn't have this man to cover him, to lick into his mouth, to look at him with those eyes. Max can already feel his orgasm before Michael begins to speak.

The second Michael hits his peak, and those muscles begin to contract around max, squeezing him, constricting and releasing over and over, Max can't help himself. He cries out Michael's name right in the middle of him begging and thrusts up hard several times, pouring out hot white spurts of cum deep into Michael's body, filling him in a way that Max has never done anyone before. When finally it's finished, he drops his body back to the bed and pulls Michael down to him, uncaring about the mess.

He's numb and alive all at once, he shivers and exhales deeply.] Fuck. Michael. That was. You are. God. I love you so much. Don't ever leave me.

[cosmiccowboy]

I mean with this kind of treatment? I’m not going anywhere. [He laughs, breathless, tangling his legs with Max’s. He was still coming down from the high of his last orgasm which was somehow even more intense than the first. He feels warm and tingly, like the electric static lingering in the air after a lightening storm and his limbs feel heavy as he cuddles close to the man under him.

He jokes with Max but that’s his default when things are intense. He has never made love like that before, ever, and it leaves him feeling raw and vulnerable, his chest a little too tight. What they shared, he knows, is once in a lifetime-fucking written in the stars- kind of stuff. It was terrifying. But this was Max. The same Max Michael had spent years pushing away and fighting and the same Max he has tried to protect in his own way all their lives. Michael knows he’s not running from this and if he ever tries he hopes Max’s stubborn ass doesn’t let him as always. But he owes this man more than a joke.]

I have never been able to leave you. Even when things got really fucked up here for me when we were younger… [He places his hand on Max’s chest, over the same spot where Max’s handprint marked his own and ducks his head to avert his eyes. Talking about the past wasn’t easy, even after everything they’ve been through.] I stayed for you.

[revolvings]

[Asking Michael to stay-- It was a strange thing to say at best while they were still joined and had just had the most impressive orgasms of their lives. It only went to show the scars that they both wore. They had both had people they love leave them, hurt them in the deepest ways and Max was terrified to open himself up to this deep of a love again. this deep, like he'd ever found anything that compared. This was beyond anything he'd found in Duplicity and that had been beyond what he'd always considered his greatest love with Liz.

Max smiles at Michael's laughter, but turns in towards his beloved and clings tightly. He nuzzles against the other male's neck, leaving soft, pliant kisses, delicate touches through his exhaustion. Max can barely see, barely move and yet he can hardly think to pull himself away, to part from Michael even though they both desperately need to bathe, and while he knows they don't ever get sick-- he still wants to clean up the wounds he made on Michael.

Feeling Michael's hand on his heart, Max opens his eyes, not even realizing that he'd closed them. He reaches in and closes his hand over the one upon his heart -- thank god it still beats in there.] I know you did.. [He admits softly, bringing their hands up to kiss at michael's] I could never thank you enough. I always tried to protect you, to do my best ... I became a cop so that I could legally get rid of people like the ones that hurt you, and so I could watch over you. You know that's why I did it, right? I did it all for you. You were my reason all these years, Michael. Then, then I find out how much you did for me in return. what you did for me in the children's home...

[Max starts to cry, and curls up into Michael. He could never thank Michael enough. Max wouldn't have made it on his own, and somehow Michael understood that. he took the fall for Max, and let himself be put out, beat up, pressed up until he became the strong man he was today. All these years later-- they were always at one another because Max could never forgive himself for always letting Michael take the fall, in childhood, or as a teenager. Both times. He cried harder, and held on tighter. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve for Michael to love him like this, but god he could never let it go either.] I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, but god. I love you. I've always loved you. It's always been you and I knew it on some level. I've always needed you. I'll always need you.

[cosmiccowboy]

Hey- [Seeing Max cry, hearing those words, it broke his heart. Michael had known, deep down that Max couldn’t forgive himself for what happened, for how things ended up. That was Max. He was selfless and unforgivingly hard on himself. The guy literally died to try to fix the past for the person he loved. But Michael couldn’t start thinking about that or he was going to spiral.

He felt so guilty for fighting Max tooth and nail all these years, for making his life hell. They had been punishing each other for so long…and now he can see how it tears him up inside still. The weight of the world on his shoulders always. At the end of the day Michael made his decisions and he would do it all again to protect the people he loves. It wasn’t Max’s fault and he hates himself for blaming him for so long. When you grow up a scared, lonely kid fighting to survive it’s hard to let that go.]

Max, it’s ok. Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you. Always. [There was so much pain in their past, so much hurt but there was so much good. He gives Max a squeeze, feeling his own eyes burn with the threat of tears and he tries not very successfully to blink them away.]

Look at me. [He nudges Max gently, waiting for him to look up and meet his eyes. When he finally does, Michael holds Max’s chin with gentle fingers and leans in to press his lips to the tears on Max’s cheeks, right and then left before kissing him softly on the mouth.]

You, Max Evans, have always been there for me even when I was difficult to love. We’re even ok? You don’t need to thank me. This right here? Us? This is everything. There is no me without you.

[revolvings]

I don't ever want to live in a world without you. I don't know how to live without you. All those years you spent trying to get home. I was always so scared that you would. Terrified. I was terrified to become myself, terrified to ever leave roswell, this place that kept us safe for so long, that kept us together.

[Clinging to Michael, Max gazed across into those loving eyes that held tears of their own and had no clue where all this was coming from, and why now of all times, but he knew deep down they were all his fears, all the things he never said before. The ones that he held so tightly, because if he ever gave them voice he was sure Michael would leave him.

Max spoke them now because he needed to know for sure that they were together, bound by so much more than the fact that they were from the same planet, and that they were connected to the same evil man -- each a part of him in one way or another.

Maybe they weren't quite equal, but Max believed Michael when he said that he loved him. He could feel it in the bond between them. Thank the alien stars for that, because without it, Max might have doubted, but it was irrefutable proof of the love, the binding irrefutable, devistating proof that they were maddingly, deeply in love with one another. They were bound so tightly that even the handprint wasn't sure at times where one started and the other left off, the feelings were so intense.]

There is no me without you either. I begin where you end, and end where you begin. You are the yang to my yin Michael. We are eternal, okay. I'm scared, but I do believe you. Just keep holding on to me and never let go. I promise I'll never let go of you. Never ever.

[Max pressed himself so tightly against Michael that he wasn't sure there was even room for them to breathe, but it didn't matter. He wanted to feel every inch of their bodies together, nestled perfectly as they were born to fit. He ran his fingers up into the amazing set of ringlets that managed to sit so beautifully across the couch, even though they had made a mess of everything twice. It felt amazing to know that this was all his now.]

[cosmiccowboy]

Says the guy that said his goodbyes and is supposed to be leaving for Oasis. [The plan had always been terrifying and a bit painful but now it was downright unbearable. If Max left, Michael knew he would do everything in his power to go with him. Yes, they had lives here but Max is what keeps him here. He also knew, when Max made up his mind about something there was no stopping him. He was the savior after all, Michael couldn't afford to be that selfish.

He can feel the anxiety, the inkling of doubt creeping around the edges of their connection and in Max's touch, like if he let go, Michael would slip away. He tilts his head into Max's fingers and squeezes his arms around him just as tightly. They probably should head to the shower or at least the bed which they never made it to but separating enough to get up seems like an enormous task.]

I'm scared too. I know you have doubts and I don't blame you. I'm going to prove myself to you, Max, I promise. I'm not saying this is going to be easy but I don't want you to ever have to doubt that I love you. If I have to follow you to another planet, I will. I'm not letting go of you.

[revolvings]

Hey, plans change Michael. I know you came this close to getting married in the prison world. Like I stopped my engagement, and you didn't get married. I can put off going to Oasis for a little while. I saw that they need me, but Dallas is going right away, and I- I will take my time with you here for a while. I need you, Michael. I'm never going anywhere without you again, ever.

[No there wasn't any stopping Max when he had his mind made up, but there was rarely any stopping Michael either. They were both pretty damn stubborn, and come hell or high water they were gonna make this thing work together here on this planet first before they ran off to their mother country and had to fight to bring it back to life.

max had already talked about how he was gonna take up a job working as a bartender again, and he had his house and knew he wanted Michael here. It was gonna take an act of god to do it, but they loved one another, and he was gonna nag michael into it eventually. He took a deep breath and squeezed those fingers that held his tightly. Yeah, they needed to move to the shower, or the bath. They would. In a minute, or two, or ten.]

I will follow you where you go, and you will follow me. I swear Michael. I will make this work. You.. wait. I know.

[Max reaches out and places his hand over the print he left on Michael, and closes his eyes, he takes his memories, all the ones he has of the times he fought for Michael, of where he loved michael, where he loved michael more than a brother-- which was further back than even he had remembered in the beginning. it went back to childhood, and max watching out for him, max pushing away his parents because he felt guilty they hadn't picked michael as well. Max watching Michael at school, across a playground, even more than liz, he always had his eyes on Michael. Even when they fought, Max watched as they he walked away. he felt the guilt, the pain, the love, the overwhelming love, and then Max pulled them out of his memories.

The power of the handprint was overwhelming at times, but it was also magical.] You never have to doubt me, Michael. never.

[cosmiccowboy]

[How could he have been so blind? All these years and he never knew. The rush of images and memories and feelings is overwhelming and silent tears roll down his cheeks as he stares at Max in wonder. He grew up thinking he was the kid nobody loved and always thought Max watched out for him out of some misplaced sense of duty or pity but he had been so wrong.

If Max had gone through Michael's memories, he would have seen Michael watching Max even when he kept his distance, desperate to be close but too damaged and scared. looking out for Max, trying to protect him time and again. He would have felt the immense relief Michael felt when he was sent back to Roswell even though it was the worst of all his foster homes because it meant he would see Max again and would be able to look out for him and Isobel. He would have seen Michael broken and alone out in the desert so many nights when whatever asshole the state gave him to at the time became too much. There were so many nights he spent in the desert wishing Max was there. He would have seen all the times Michael pushed him away when it was the opposite he wanted. How he hated himself even more after. He would feel the all consuming grief Michael felt when Max died and how he almost gave up on everything but didn't, for Max because he will never give up on him. He would know there is no competition for him in Michael's life and there never has been.]

Max, I never knew...I'm sorry. For everything. [He whispers shakily and kisses him. The kiss is soft and sweet. He can taste Max and the salt of tears and he tries to convey everything he can't find the words to say.

When he pulls away, he wipes at his eyes and laughs quietly.] Man, what was in that tequila?

[revolvings]

There's nothing to be sorry about love.
[Honestly, there's nothing there that Michael could have known. They'd both wanted and needed one another, and been scared the whole time. They would have to fight their demons together, now and in the future as they went on. Max had far too many insecurities and Michael had way too many of his own from the life he had lived. It was such a hard life, and it would have Max crying rivers if he'd even glanced through pieces of it.

As it was, he had a feeling, and yet still. Taking Michael by the face, he kisses away the tears. ] Shhh my love. I'm here and I have no fucking idea. I would like to blame it for something, but damn. I found you and we are like this. It was good for us. We should do that again. It was that stupid survey man. It all started with that. That's what happens when you start really talking sex. Speaking of...

[Max glances at their bodies and the couch they're laying on. They are gross. Really, there's blood, sweat, come. Sex is a nasty bit, and they need a bath, or a shower, or a giant hose. something.]

We need to get clean. Bath, shower? [Max groans loudly, but pulls out of Michael, instantly feeling the ache to be a part of him again. It's like there's a hole inside him that he didn't realize was there until Michael filled it. It almost takes his breath away, but he manages to breathe only by pulling Michael up off the couch and into his arms immediately] Your place, I guess you lead the way to the bathroom.

[cosmiccowboy]

I don't know. I think I like you dirty. [As much as he would happily lay there forever or at least until their backs started hurting from the cheap couch, Max was right; they were in desperate need of a bath and Michael could think of much worse things than taking a hot bath with the man in front of him right now.]

Remind me to do surveys with you more often then. [He grabs Max's hand and leads him down the hall to the bathroom. It's nothing special, small but clean and at least he actually has a full shower now. This place was barely a step up from his airstream but it was what he could afford at such short notice after Alex left. He drops Max's hand to turn the water on and let it heat up. It was finicky and sometimes took a minute to get hot. Once he was sure it was a good temperature he stepped in and held his hand out for Max to join him, pulling him under the warm spray.]

Next time we can take a bath but if I get in the tub with you now you're going to be carrying me out. [The hot water felt amazing, soothing his sore muscles and he can't help but groan contentedly. Even the sting of the water on some of the harsher marks left by Max's mouth felt good, a reminder of what they had shared. He grabs the soap and a washcloth and takes a step toward Max, closing the small distance between them. Max is breathtaking standing there under the water, watching him. Michael brings the washcloth to his skin and starts gently scrubbing over his shoulders, his chest, his stomach, taking his time as if discovering Max's body for the first time.] God, you're beautiful.

[revolvings]

[It was still so hard for Max to even believe that Alex had left. He didn't understand it all, but apparently something had happened, and Michael was still here. Max was still here despite all his earlier thoughts, but that had a lot more to do with things present and accounted, the man holding his hand right now, taking him step by step back to the bathroom of his small little apartment. He couldn't help but grin at the thought. He and michael, of all the people in the world to end up together.]

Yeah, we need to do those more often. I need to find out about what a freak in the sheets you are, and about how often you masturbate to thoughts about me.

[There was a little truth to bath thought. Max was feeling wobbly on his legs and while a bath sounded amazing, he wasn't sure he'd make it out of the hot water alive with Michael between his legs. He took up the soap after Michael finished with it and rolls it around between his palms some, sudsing them up real good and then he begins his own rubdown of Michael's gorgeous body. It's so hard not to get caught up in the process. He wants to massage every bit, and in doing that he finds himself wanting to stop and kiss, and do so much more. Fatigue calls though, and Michael's doing the same to his body and it feels so damn good.] You're a work of art with those hands of yours, babe and I don't know who you're calling beautiful, when you clearly have the body of a greek god over here. I mean, look at your abs. When did you do this? I swore I was kissing stone earlier.

[cosmiccowboy]

[All of this still felt almost like a dream, like he would wake up in the morning to find he had gotten drunk and passed out alone on his couch again. But Max’s body was very solid and real under his hands and Max’s hands, those hands that could work miracles, could bring people back to life, or take life and take Michael apart with just those hands, those were very real.]

Yeah, yeah okay. Says the guy who looks like he came out of a rugged cowboy wet dream. [He laughs, fingers ghosting over the bruises he left on Max’s hips before inching lower, sliding over his length. His touch was tender, loving and even in the haze of exhaustion, he was tempted to linger. If he got to touch this man every day for the rest of his life it wouldn’t be enough but he knew the hot water wouldn’t last long so he kept on task, hands massaging over his thighs and around to his ridiculously perfect ass. This time he let himself linger.]

Okay, now I need to know. Have you masturbated to thoughts of me before?

[revolvings]

[Even after being spent twice on the couch, Max can feel the touch of Michael's hand and have heat spill through his body. He wonders if there's an end to what the other alien can inspire in him. He also wonders if there's any nail polish remover close by. His body is aching for a hit of it, for a jolt of energy to replace all that he expended in the exchange they shared. Still, the magnitude of wonder and joy is alive and ever building as he continues to run his hands over the man he has to believe is his now.

If he were to lose this it would be the loss of his soul, and Max knows he'd never survive it. Even after this single exchange, this one night together-- if he were to be set apart, separated, he'd lose himself. It would be a fate worse than death, and he would know.

His hands are up around Michael's shoulders when the other settles on his ass. Max can't help but move in close, place their bodies in alignment there under the warm spray. It doesn't matter how long the warm water lasts. He kisses over his lover's neck, licking at the drops of water, and sucking along the gorgeous stretch of Michael's neck. It makes his heart beat faster, and his body react. He laughs softly at the question.]

You didn't answer me, you know. I asked first, but the answer is yes. Yes, I've masturbated to thoughts of you. I've done it at night, with all the lights off more times than I can count, since I was a teen. I'd wonder what it would be like to touch you, kiss you. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help myself. The first time I kissed a guy, I thought about you. It made it easier in that place, because I didn't want any other men at first. You were the only one I saw, and the one I kept coming back to.

[cosmiccowboy]

[Heat stirs in his stomach and he tilts his head back as Max mouths along his neck, their bodies pressed close, warm and slick from the hot water. It’s almost like being a teenager again, he thinks, and he feels light, his stomach fluttering and his heartbeat quickening with every touch. He wonders if he’ll always feel this way, if his body will react every time Max enters the room or their eyes meet or even the smallest of touches. God, he was doomed.]

I’ve thought about you too, you know. I just thought I was fucked up but I would lay there sometimes in my truck out in the desert wishing you were there, imaging your hands or your mouth taking care of me, crying out your name in the middle of nowhere in the bed of my truck.

[He closes his eyes for a moment, lost in the feeling of Max’s body, his lips on his skin and then something Max said dawns on him and he places his hands on Max’s hips, pulling back enough to look at him.] Wait, the first time you kissed a guy you thought about me?

[revolvings]

You know how fucking hot that is. Now I have to go down on you in your truck, right? I gotta make that fantasy come true.

[As if Max wasn't having trouble before, a fresh new heat stirs inside him and he can't believe it but he's hard again and he really does feel like a friggin teenager again. It's wonderful being able to be like this finally with the person he knows is his other half. His person. To know that he's got that one soul who will love him no matter what. He starts to go for Michael's neck one more time and finds himself being pushed at, he pulls away and glances at Michael with a lift of his eyebrow and then laughs a little.

He remembers his first time. God he was nervous. It was some guy he wasn't even all that super attracted to, but the water he had been in made him needy, and horny and he had to have someone. It was that place, duplicity. He thought about michael for a little longer than the kiss if he was being real]

I cant even remember the guy's name now. He was tall and dark, had a huge cock, I topped him. I thought about you when I kissed him, when I did a lot of things to him. You were so much easier to think of. It was really wrong, you didn't even like me much back then. I didn't think you did. I wanted you so bad. I wish I could have told you then. It was hard, at that place. I'd think of you so much there. I think I probably got off to thoughts of you as much as anyone else.

[and that was honest. It was the worst, cause they were living together there, and Michael would walk around almost naked half the time. Max had to pretend. Michael and he worked on getting along at least, but it was never this. He never knew it would ever be this.]